Dilemma
by Trix a.k.a F5C
Summary: Hmm.... me not going to tell you much... but it's a Akagi ficcy... please R&R (yes i know my summary sux... sorry)


Title: Dilemma 1/1  
  
Author: F5C  
  
Genre: Yaoi  
  
Pairing: Err. read on. but it is an Akagi ficcy  
  
Archive: FF.net I guess  
  
E-mail: chatterbox_shil@yahoo.com. Artist: Nelly  
  
Album: Nellyville  
  
Song: Dilemma  
  
~*~ (Akagi POV)  
  
*I love and I need you  
  
Nelly, I love you, I do  
  
Need you*  
  
It's been so long, but I love you and I need you. I sit snuggled up against your shoulder in our worn couch and watch you sleep. The long dark curls falling haphazardly all over your face. I brush away a certain strand and in turn you snuggle your face against my hand. I grimace as I feel your rough stubble caress my palm. You stupid idiot, I guess you'll never learn. I grin at the thought, but ain't that a good thing. I mean I love shaving your stubble. I love doing things for you. I love you.  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you*  
  
I finger the furniture that we are leaving behind. I smile at the thought of moving back to Kanagawa, but we'll be leaving so many things behind. I take a last look at our house and my eyes lock on the fireplace. You're all mush and sap at heart, that gangster front doesn't fool me. Your arms weave their way around my waist and you snuggle up behind me both of us focusing on the same fireplace; reminiscing all those important nights. The first night you kissed me, in front of the fireplace. the first time you took me, on the rug in front of the fireplace. the night you proposed, snuggled up on the couch in front of the fireplace. You kiss away the tears that involuntarily flow from my eyes, and with that you kiss away all the pain.  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
You know I'm crazy over you*  
  
~*~ (Uozumi POV)  
  
I jog up my usual route. I'm nearly done, just one more block. I feel the adrenaline flooding every nerve as the end is near. I look up and stop dead in my tracks. Oh god! He's back. I slow my pace and jog up to him but before he can turn and notice me, I halt. There they are, Tetsuo and him, still together. I see them snuggle up openly, not giving a shit about everybody else and I force my now lead heavy feet back to a jog and run away.  
  
*Uh-uh-uh-uh  
  
I met this chick and she just moved right up the block from me  
  
And she got the hots for me, the finest thing I need to see  
  
But oh, no, no, she got a man and a son, oh-oh, but that's okay  
  
'Cause I wait for my cue and just listen, play my position  
  
Like a shortstop, pick up e'rything mami hittin'  
  
And in no time I better make this friend mine and that's for sure*  
  
We are back to where we were, friends. I like that but. but we both sense something else hanging between us. I don't mind the idea of us just being friends but I don't like that 'thing' which gnaws at me every night when I'm alone in bed, or every time I see you two together. But what am I suppose to do? I ain't going to shatter your life just for my happiness. I'm not a home wrecker. The point still is, you're married and I'm still only a friend  
  
*'Cause I-I never been the type to break up a happy home  
  
But there's something 'bout baby girl, I just can't leave her 'lone  
  
So tell me, ma, what's it gonna be  
  
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on*  
  
~*~ (Akagi POV)  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you*  
  
How could this happen? I love Tetsuo with all my heart. I snuggle against his firm body and immediately realize how wrong I am. When did this happen? How could I have fallen out of love with my husband and fallen in love with my friend? I snuggle up against Tetsuo trying to convince myself otherwise. but the truth is still the truth and finally I give in and allow silent tears to flow from my eyes.  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
You know I'm crazy over you*  
  
~*~ (Uozumi POV)  
  
It's out in the open. It hangs there between us larger then life, but I still can't do anything. I feel you eyeing me, I catch your eye ever so often, and I feel the electricity that shoots between us. But there's no way anything could ever happen.  
  
*Uh-uh-uh-uh  
  
I see a lot in your look and I never say a word  
  
I know how n****s start actin' trippin' , and hate up all the girls  
  
And there's no way Nelly go for it*  
  
It's obvious to you now that I'm still single, and it's also obvious that I'm interested in you. I love everything about you, your body, your mind and most of all your heart. You have changed for sure. More relaxed, but I like you better like this. I love the way you tease me and just hang out, finding fun doing the simplest things of all.  
  
*Ain't f***in' with no dame, as you could see  
  
But I-I like your steeze, your style, your whole demeanor  
  
The way you come through and holler, and swoop me in his two-seater  
  
Now that's gangsta and I got special ways to thank ya, don't you forget it*  
  
We both know that it's inevitable by the way we are going at it. I stare into your eyes for answers and immediately my heart breaks. I feel it shatter and splinter every part of my body. I knew that I shouldn't have expected more, but I'm still human and still vulnerable to hoping for the best, but I guess expecting you to leave him was too much. I turn to leave, to go away from it all, to be as far from you as possible but you grab my wrist and pull me to you and we share our first earth shattering kiss.  
  
*But it ain't that easy for you to back up and leave him  
  
But you and me we got ties for different reasons  
  
I respect that and right before I turned to leave  
  
She said, "You don't know what you mean to me," come on*  
  
But that's it. only a kiss.  
  
~*~ (Akagi POV)  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
Boy, you know I'm crazy over you*  
  
I sit in the living room rethinking what happened earlier today. You left me. You left without an argument but the hurt that flashed in your eyes didn't go unnoticed by me. I finger my lips and think about our kiss, realizing it'll never get further than that and finally my dam breaks. I don't know how long I've been crying here like this, but now I feel strong arms around me and soft lips against my ears softly soothing me while hot breath caresses my ear. I snuggle up against this source of warmth knowing that it isn't you but for the first time I allow myself to think otherwise as I totally give in and finally find bliss once again with this man who I imagine as you.  
  
*No matter what I do  
  
All I think about is you  
  
Even when I'm with my Boo  
  
You know I'm crazy over you*  
  
~*~  
  
*Sing it for me, K  
  
I love and I need you  
  
Nelly, I love you, I do  
  
And it's more than you'll ever know  
  
Boy, it's for sure  
  
You can always count on my love  
  
Forever more, yeah, yeah  
  
East coast, I know you're shakin' right  
  
Down south, I know you're bouncin' right  
  
West coast, I know you're walkin' right  
  
('Cause you don't know what you mean to me)  
  
Midwest, I see you swingin' right*  
  
~*~  
  
OWARI  
  
Hmm. it sucked right?? I don't care... actually I do but me trying to believe otherwise God. talk about denial *sigh* As for why the sudden fic. Have you heard the song?? I love it. heard it for the first time today. and I love it!! Tell me what ya think.  
  
So Yosh. this is for ya. Thanx for the pairing. and sorry if it wasn't angsty/ gory/ gruesome enough. But I don't do that. I do lemons remember. and songfics as well. Hopefully ya liked it. if not. its okay Sorry if it wasn't to your taste. and if it really did suck. Gimme time and I'll make it up to you. I'll try my hand at gore. *shudders* 


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